Shy Boy Meets Shy Girl

The shy boy meets the shy girl

Well they could’a if they would’a,

But being so shy

They just walked on by.

Each ah hoping

That the other had spoken,

And in their fantasy

For the rest of the day

The daydreams crowded

Out the reality of what was

With the thoughts of

What ifs, and I should’a

Could’a done this

Or Coud’a done that.

The time has passed,

And like two ships in the dark

They saw each other lights

Was attracted but would not board,

But in the other's going.

Many a second thoughts

Plagued their minds

Lessons learned?

No, much too shy for that,

And as the years went by

She thought of him,

And he thought of her.

Until she grew into an old Maid,

And he a reticence recluse.

Thoughts without actions

Are only ghosts in the mind.

©

Rexx

On My Way

I am on my way

To a better day

The night has come

To take this one away.

~

I know that tomorrow

Has to be a better day

For today is as bad

A day I’ve had in many a day.

~

Sick and dejected

After being rejected

I came to my bottle

And found its bottom.

~

Still deep in remorse

Too drunk to drive

But not drunk enough

To drown the sting.

~

So I walked to the store

Just a mile away

Bought a case of beer

And drank it on the way home.

~

Two cans down

By the time I get back

And another four

In short order.

~

I hope that before the time

The rest is gone

I will find oblivion

And be able to forget.

~

To forget, at least for the night

How bad it hurt

How bad it still hurts

All the dreams and anticipation,

~

That died with her decision

To find a life without me,

And leave me to my

Own devices.

~

So I am on my way

To a better day

Just as soon as I

Can forget.

~

Don't live in the past

They say

But are we not the

Sum of all we did?

~

And is not that better day

Launched from the now

That we stand upon

All the days you have lived?

~

What did I learn from

Her leaving,

But not to trust another

With the love of my heart?

~

Pick and choose

From this and that

That was put before me

With my own acts.

~

Desire still lives

But has no object.

Hope has reached the point

Of hopelessness.

~

Pitiful

But I ware my mask

Putting the smile on my face

Somehow ashamed.
~
Ashamed of my failure
To keep the one I love
And so desired
To be by my side.
~
So I speak not of this
But have resigned myself
To living a life 
Without the love of a woman.
~
This I know
Is my very own fault.
For there have been many
Who wanted me
That I did not want.
~
And way too many
I wanted that did not want me.
We all go on our way
Picking and choosing as best we can.
~
With the ghosts
Of yesterday
Shading our decisions
And pointing our ways.
~

©

Rexx

Till The End of Time

Happy memories just leave me alone

She left me alone. And that is where I belong

So just go ahead be gone!

I ain’t going nowhere

Just staying where I am

Till the end of time.

Sadness I am, no desire to move on

Just me and my memories

To wallow around.

Would be that I would

Trying again and again

It is right here that I end.

Tried too many times

To think of another ending

To this sad song I am in.

Just go ahead and check out you say,

Well hells bells, who died and made you God?

 Will hang around in my tears as long as I will.

Sadness is my joy, pain is no grief

You are you, and I am me.

You live your life and I will live mine.

You don’t like my sadness?

I hate your joy!

Don’t like me, I could give a shit.

No excuse for me?

Shit, just what is your excuse?

Your happiness?

Just wait time will take

All you have and in the end

You will be as alone as I.

Till the end I have decided

This is the way it will be

My morning the loss of my happiness.

You cannot help me

Nor do I want your help

I picked my own way to this end.

©

Rexx

I Waited On God To Plow My Field

I waited on God to plow my field, it still lays fallen.

I waited on God to sow the seeds, I got weeds.

I waited on God to fix my roof, it still leaks.

Then I remembered that God only helps those who help themselves.

The laborer is worthy of his hire for a honest day’s work

On the docks, in the fields, or clerking.

But what of the banker who lends,

Why is his effort of so much more value?

What is money but a chit, a chit with trust?

A dollar bill or a credit card a promise to pay

This for that, and if you lend me this now

I will pay you then and something to boot.

I need seeds for the fields, fuel for the plow,

I will pay your rate for I need it now

For if I wait there will be no crops to harvest,

Nothing to sell, and no money for living.

 God only helps those who help themselves not in the Bible,

But Aeschylus in his play The Persians wrote,

 "Whenever a man makes haste, God too hastens with him."

 Benjamin Franklin used it in his almanac in 1736,

And Sophocles wrote, "No good e'er comes of leisure purposeless; 

And heaven ne’er helps the men who will not act." way back when,

And who has not heard, "Trust in God, but keep your powder dry"?

Does this conflict with the Bible's view of God's grace?

Should you wait on God to plow your field?

Should you wait God to sow the seeds?

Should you wait on God to fix your roof?

Does God's grace say He will do these things?

What say you?

Unrequited burning desire

Unrequited burning desire

Kills the hope,

But not the desire.

Wish I had never met her,

But too late for that,

I just have to live with that shit.

She is with another now

No bad feeling for her.

Just me.

By now you would think

That I might have learned

No one owes me a thing.

But no, There I went

Putting my heart

On the line.

Fool that I am, hoping that

Just because I love

That I am loved.

Wishing as I will

Wishing as I might

I wish with all my heart

That you love

Me

Tonight.

©

Rexx

Lay At Night

Why, you ask, as you get on in years,

Does the days fly by so fast?

Why when I was a child

A day could last forever.

~

Well, yes it could,

Especially when you were but a day old!

A whole lifetime in a day,

But the next day it was only half a lifetime.

~

When you were a year old

A year become 1/365th

Of a lifetime,

At 10 1/3650th.

~

Look at how of your lifetime

A day is now.

Just a little fraction

Lost in all those other fractions.

~

But yet, a day is still a day

And a year is still a year

As you watch your children grow

Into the amazement you never dreamed.

~

A busy day seems to fly by

Until you look back upon it

From your rest at night

Then it seems an eternity since you arose.

~

A day with nothing to do,

All day long seems to drag and drag,

It just creeps along, until you look back at night

And wonder where it has gone.

~

It is events that build a day

Many events build a long day

One long event of hardly nothing

Builds a short day.

~

So fill your day with happy things

And you have a happy day.

Fill it with sad things

And you have a sad day.

~

It matters not, in the scheme of things.

Except to you

As you lay at night

And remember.

~

~

~

©

Rexx

There Is Life and Then There is Life

A stone may move

But it has no motivation to move,

Its motion is predetermine

By preceding event.

It came to be when

Spewed from the volcano,

Then carried hence

By the great ice flow.

Animated once again

By a raging current

And left to lie

By cliff’s edge

To be pushed over the edge

In the storm’s wind.

There it lies until

It is moved once again

By a child’s hand.

~

So animation is not life,

The wind blows

The rain falls

The water flows

All of the laws of nature.

What then of plants?

They are alive,

Are they not?

But they do not decide.

They are but

A most marvelous

Mechanical system

Whose motions are dictated

By the same laws of nature

That control the

Motion of the stone.

By osmosis

Minerals and water

Seep into roots

Following the law of diffusion

And even distribution

It travels up the plant

Not by desire

But by law

The carbon is absorbed

By the leaves to

React with the water

To make carbohydrates

Then the law is transcended

The plant follows direction

And creates its reproduction.

Life, but no will

A plant does what a plant must do

It cannot rebel.

~

Then there are animals

From the lowly worm

To the mighty whale

Who gets to decide.

The worm in its wiggles under the soil

Must wiggle this way or that

And will go neither

Until it wills.

Each effort it makes

Is an act of will

But still,

It is bound to the earth

And cannot

Decide to fly

It can only spend its life

Eating, screwing, and crawling.

Now the mighty beasts

That roam the face of the earth,

Down to the tiniest of mice

After seeking and finding

Their substances

Find time to play

And enjoy

And look for someone to fuck.

And though they have will

They only live in the now

No concept of consequences

They follow their instincts

And walk into the road and die,

Fly into wind turbines, and die.

A snake cannot learn

That laying on the side of the road

Is dangerous

For it either crawl off

After a day of sunning

With no consequences,

Or it dies in its pleasure.

~

Then there is man

~

~

~

©

Rexx

Who are we but Creatures Of Action

When someone asks you who you are how do you answer?  As a creature of action we tend to identify ourselves with our action. Ask a field and tract person who they are and they will respond that they are a runner or jumper. Ask an accountant and he will respond that he is a CPA, and so forth, a student will respond that she is a freshman as so on, ask the teacher and she will tell you that she is a professor at the college.  To identify with one action is as old as mankind. The stalker saw himself as a hunter, the fighter as a warrior.  Women accepted the role that was left to them, keeping the camp, skinning, gathering and cooking, and called them selves by the name that the tribe who gave that action called it, be it squaw or housewife.

One's actions were once, and still are for many, limited to the action of making a living (staying alive) dominating the role the individual had to assume. As long as action is limited to the acts of survival the self-identification was limited. When one has to till the land the live long day he can only see himself as a farmer.  When one livelihood comes from the games he plays he will identify himself with those games. A Baseball Player, Football Player, Golfer and so on into the myriad of other games in which people have found to make a living. A pretender will call himself an actor; a person who gets his livelihood from a pension and Social Security will say that they are retired when asked what they do. Note that just about everything a person clams to be in one way or another reflects how they make a living. Even a housewife makes her living being a wife and a mother.

This action was and is the very essence of the individual, and to identify the self with the action was not just something the tribe imposed, as much it was something that the individual imposed upon the tribe. People tend to be proud of what they do and achieve, and they want the skill and expertise recognized by the tribe. That is why a Doctor insists on the Ph. D after his name, the X-ray techs at the hospital want to be called Technologists, the bio-medical tech wishes to be called a Technician. This is not trite, it is important because of all the time and effort they put into gaining the skills they have acquired, and want their services recognized.

Many people condemn this self-imposed identity and tell others that they must give them up, I assure you that is a lot easier to say than to do. People like to be known as a wife or a husband, a father or a mother. The names of what they do for a living gives them an identity, which can be expressed with few words but convey a wealth of information. True, we all assume different roles in our lives, at night we are the wife or husband, during the day we raise our kids and or go to work to support ourselves and our families.  However, if you ask a Dentist what he does seldom will mother or father, wife or husband is the first description given. Virtually without exception the Dentist will answer that he is a dentist, the Welder that he is a welder, the NASCAR Driver that he drives NASCARs, and this is true of just about, if not all professions.

Is this wrong? That which a person has to do well enough to support themselves has to occupy a lot of their time, both at work and after they leave work. The more satisfying and fulfilling the work is the greater the identification with the work will be. A hamburger flipper, or car-wash worker will not identify themselves with their jobs near as much as a Doctor or Lawyer will.

I am confused in my identity, I want to say I am a horse trainer when I am asked, but I also want to be an author, and a husband, an adventure, a wise man  and maybe before I die I will figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

~

~

©

Rexx

A path is a way that shall never be trod twice.

Since we only get to set foot on the path as we trod it one step at a time, and cannot ever re-trace the path  and take the different forks, to say that another way would have been better is only speculation. 

Robert Lee Frost's "You Come Too" 1916

“I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence;

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by

And that has made all the difference.”

Now as much as I love Frost, this assertion that taking the road less traveled made all the difference could only be known if both roads had been traveled at the same time and the results compared at the end.  Each decision made opens up a completely different set of choices from which to chose then another decision would allow.  The only way to know which path would be the best path would be to walk them all and compare the outcome.

Alas this cannot be done, thus we are left with making the best decisions we can at the time with the information we have available to us.  That another is “wasting” his life is a personal opinion that really states nothing more than the observers disapproval of how that person is living their life.

To claim that another caused one to waste their life is to remove the responsibility  from that one for the decisions that they made to live the life they lived.  If we are free beings, and are not coerced into a decision by force then the good or bad that comes to us because of our decisions are own responsibility.  If we are not free beings then this speculation is pointless because then we would have no choice in the path we tread.

A path is a path because many have followed that way, had no one followed it, it would be naught but a direction with many obstacles in the way.  Our various religions are paths that have been trod by many before us, atheism is another path that some follow, but few of us get to trail blaze a path.  Jesus, Mohammed, Siddhartha, and Ron L Hubbard are four of the few who have.  Most of us track along following the way others have made.  Some of these paths are so old nobody can be said to have blazed it, Hinduism for example.  As to which past is the best is a matter of faith, not knowledge.

~

©

Rexx

The Just And The Unjust

That which is born

Dies.

No explanation point

Just a period.

~

Whether it goes

With a whimper

Or a bang,

It goes.

~

Death comes to the just

And to the unjust.

To the kind

And to the cruel.

~

Alas, all good things must pass,

But blessed be,

So must all the bad.

No matter what

~

This too shall pass.

The old to makes way

For the new

The new to become old.

~

There is nothing

New Under the sun

As the Preacher said

So long ago.

~

You cannot have

Your cake and eat it too.

To live the day

You must let it go on its way.

~

If you try to cage the wind

Sadly you will find

You can only keep air.

A breeze must be on its way.

~

To make a cake

You must break the eggs.

To be on your own

You must leave home.

~

If it comes, it comes to go,
And as Bobby said,
"He who is not busy
Being Born is busy dying".
~

It will come to pass.

Know that nothing lasts

Beyond its appointed time,

If you are born to hang you cannot drown!.

~

True it is

That your reach

Should exceed

Your grasp,

~

But it is so unrealistic

To believe that you

Will grasp everything

 Reach for.

~

And many times you will find

Before you can reach for this

You will have to let go of that.

As you change and redefine

~

What it is

That you are.

You can be lucky

Or you can be wise,

~

For it is through mistakes

That wisdom can be found,

And if you are so lucky

As to never make mistakes

~

It is just a lucky fool

You will find yourself to be.

And if you do not learn

From your mistakes

~

You will find that

You are naught

But an unlucky fool

Trapped in making the same

~

Mistakes time and time again

Until you learn

A way to avoid them

And chosen a different way.

~

But if you take too much to heart

The adage

"Look before you leap"

You just might find

~

œThat he who hesitates

Is lost. It is a balance

You must find between

Impetuousness and prudence.

~

Enjoy the good,

Knowing that it must leave.

Endure the bad

Knowing that it also must leave.

~

If naught else

Death will take

It away.

And in the grave

~

There is no joy

No sadness or hope,

Neither tears nor laughter,

Not even the resurrection is known

~

Until it comes

At the end of time.

Until that day

Life is for living

~

Live each day as

Full as you can.

And this advice I freely give

Please look to find

~

As much pleasure as you can

In the mundane,

For it is in the prosaic

That you spend most of your time.

~

©

Rexx