Letter to a Lady

Time is not mine to give, but it is yours to take, so take as much as you like. I know that nothing is instantaneous, even love at first sight (I am sure it happens all the time) takes a split second.

While I would love to be in love again, to have that feeling that I had way back when, but I realistically never expect it but still look for it. Life jades and it hurt dull the heart’s desire to venture down such a path again. Too may primroses paths in the past that only led to disappointment. Too many promises of forever that found their death with the rise of a new interest.

I venture forth now with no more desire than to find each day as the Lord give it to me. I never expect again to make the good friend as I made as a child. And I never expect again to make the hard enemies I have made in the past. While I have days yet before me, I have many days stretched behind me that laden me with memories.

I remember my first kiss from a girl. I remember my first kiss from a woman who was not my mother. I remember my heart breaking from her leaving. Leaving me for another that had more to offer. I remember the thrill of driving my first car, also the terror of wrecking my first car. Oh so many cars and women since then.

I imagine that you are like me, looking for what you want, but not quit sure of what it is you do want, hoping that you will recognize it when you see it. You say to yourself that you will not settle ever again, but then you look to the years you have left and ask if you can afford not to. Most of who we call friend are not friends anymore, they are just acquaintances. Fair weather friend that cannot be reached in hard times, but says hi with a smile and ask how are you without the least concern of how you really are.

Ah, a friend, a lover to whom you can depend upon to care for you, and you alone. Someone who yearns for your body along, and would never betray you with another. Someone who would drop any and everything to run by your side in times of need. Well as someone told me, if you want all of that, get a dog. We dream of a prefect that does not exist, only the young find the perfect one for them, and then they lose it when time open their eyes to the imperfections they were blinded to by young love.

I am not saying that happiness is not with another, what I am saying that when it is a settlement is made, a deal is reached, compromises are made. These compromises are not always with the other person, more often than not they are with oneself and the other person know nothing about them at all.

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Rexx